Well ladies and gentlemen, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to take a moment and reflect back on exactly what in tarnation just happened, and then pivot.

Cliché, I know.

The events of this last week have been…..

Yeah I don’t know what they’ve been.

With that in mind, I’m just going to lay out a few thoughts, toast and lovingly slather an Everything Bagel, respond to the demands of the dog, and get this bad boy posted.

Speaking of which, I encountered a T-Rex and a Unicorn (both in waiting) at the park last week.

As I completed my loop around the park with the TharpSter TreadMill, I approached the pavilion at the front of the park to return to the car.  It was there that I happened upon a couple of gentlemen, each sporting the build of a linebacker who has seen better days.  They were each putting on a costume, one portraying a horny, rainbow colored equine, and the other one preparing to Bang A Gong.

Eye contact with these two was unavoidable, so we all exchanged pleasantries as dictated by state law here in Texas.  The fact that it was Halloween wasn’t lost on me, and I expected that’s what this was.

“Not the normal dress code I’m used to seeing out here.”  Never be afraid to make small talk over the stupid shit that people wear.

“Disc golf challenge.”  One of them responded.

Okay, that makes sense.  Honestly, I wanted to hang around and watch a T-Rex with small arms huck a frisbee at great distance, but the dog was having nothing of it.  Besides, I gave up on watching spectacles a long time ago, and this event had all of the hallmarks of something I should ignore.

I should have taken the whole incident as a foreshadowance of things to come.  This year has been so buggy with it’s foreshadowances that I’ve become complacent to them.

And then there was Tuesday.

First of all, let’s talk about what happened.

Some time back, I started calling out my predictions and whether I had hit or missed the mark.  I made two about Election Day that I nailed.  When I say ‘nailed’, I mean if the world is board with a nail in it, I’m the hammer.

I’ll outline those in short order.

I had considered posting a third prediction on Tuesday afternoon, but for whatever reason I didn’t.  That one came true too, but I won’t try to appropriate credit for it.

In watching the coverage on Tuesday night, a few things came to mind.

The states that went blue were being called a lot faster than those which went red.

At one point, the counting stopped.  When the 4 or 5 states which were going to decide this election were leaning strongly in the red, I made a mental note that within an hour this thing would be called and I could go to bed.  Instead, numbers stopped getting updated.  States stopped getting called.

The stoppage which went unannounced and unacknowledged by the media outlets represented the third prediction I never posted.  The only reason I predicted it in the first place was that the same thing happened four years ago.

Here we are, five days later without a declared winner.  Thus the two predictions I posted:

1. Even though we’ll know the winner within a week of Election Day, a winner will not be declared until after November.
2. There will be no concession speech on Election night.

As I go back and read that first one, it hasn’t come to full fruition yet, but it’s on a path.  That won’t stop me from using the hammer and nail metaphor I uttered earlier.

By the time Wednesday morning got here, I emerged from about 3 hours of sleep and went to work (down the hallway from the bedroom).  When Wifey woke up, she asked me the question I had been dreading all morning.

“Who won?”

The last time I had a conversation that awkward in my own house, one of the kids had asked me where babies come from.

So what am I to make of all this?

I personally believe that the vast network of uncircumcised Philistines within the machine that seeks to elevate the stupid lying asshole (the Big Guy who’s also been credibly accused of a lot of wrongdoing) to the highest office in the land is engaging in some age old dirty tricks to steal re-election from the brash asshole.

Now maybe that’s just my bias talking.

Of course it is.

Set my bias aside for a moment and consider that polls told us that Biden would win with a double digit lead and there would be a blue wave.  Consider the down-ballot races where the GOP didn’t suffer the predicted losses.  

Why did the counting seem to stop?

Why is it that the results in so many states are in such flux right now and undecided/undeclared?

Why did all of the polls get it as wrong as they did?

How does the top of the ticket lose an election while the bottom of the ticket lives to fight another day?

The aforementioned machine has gone to great lengths in the last four years to dispense with their Orange Man Bad virus.  Lengths so great and outlandish mind you, that one is hard pressed not to characterize those efforts as a coup.  Sadly enough, those behind the coup have not been held accountable.

So why should I believe at this point that a Biden win is and will be an honest win?

There are two possible outcomes to this election.

The current vote tallies stand and Biden is declared the winner.

Or….

Legal challenges against the current vote tallies are successful and Trump wins re-election

Irregardlessly, I don’t intend to let the outcome of this election to occupy space in the span between my ears rent free.  I made that decision four years ago when I thought that Hillary was going to win.  There’s no reason why I can’t do it now.

As such, I’m going to keep a better part of the coverage and punditry over the matter out of my life.  This approach has worked in the wake of the pandemic, and there’s no reason it won’t work now. 

I don’t need ongoing updates on what’s going on in any of those states where evidence of shenaniganry is ubiquitous.  I don’t need to constantly absorb the laundry lists of issues from thought (or lack thereof) leaders on either side of the discussion.

For me, seeking out those constant updates is like watching a T Rex and a Unicorn play disc golf.

Even if things don’t go the way I would want them to, so what?

Does the presence of a stupid lying asshole in the White House automatically usher in a case of Biden Derangement Syndrome for me?

Does it change my life?

Does it change my career?

Does it change my future?

Only in the sense that his policies may make me to consider some adjustments. 

I’ve lived through 10 presidents so far, and rest assured, there were stupid lying assholes in at least half of that sample.  Yet still, I sit here before you today expressing my thoughts on a vast network of computers designed to share information, ideas, and pictures of nekid ladies.

I haven’t resigned myself to a Biden win at this point.  I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that I can handle it if his win is honest. 

Once the man is in office, I believe he’ll be removed relatively soon thereafter under one of the following circumstances:

• He’ll step aside under auspices of failing health
• He’ll be removed under the 25th Amendment
• He’ll be removed because of the charges of corruption leveled against him
• He will pass away

At that point, we’ll find out just how bad things are going to get.  We’ll looks back on the days of how good we had it under Trump in terms of the economy, unemployment, regulation, and media trolling tweets.  We’ll look forward to 2024 where I’ll throw out another prediction.

Biden 2020, Trump 2024.

Post Script:  In the hours since I composed the deposit of verbal brilliance you just read, Biden was projected as the winner.  Certainly the chicken fajita I lunched on didn’t taste any better as a result.  It didn’t taste any worserer either.

I’m sure the fight for the Presidency will continue while we all wait patiently for this dumpster fire of a year to end.