I would be remiss if I didn’t mark the occasion of the new year by taking to the internet to announce my extreme disappointment with the events that shaped my life during 2022.

Understand that I say that while eating bacon.

Anyone who can eat bacon and express disappointment about anything possesses a heavy heart, most likely accented by hickory flavored arteriosclerosis.

Let’s get the obvious good stuff out of the way.

My grandson was born in May.  Granted, he looks just like me, but still.

The Astros, after retiring the magical trash can that could sense and signal the presence of an off-speed pitch, won the World Series.

It should probably be stated here and now that the Astros are the only professional sports team I follow anymore.  I’ve just about forgotten about the teams I used to follow in the NFL and NBA.  As I understand it, they’ve forgotten about themselves as well. 

Anymore, the only two non-playoff games I watch in the NFL are on the TV wherever I celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The hosts of said get-togethers are die-hard fans of a team that hasn’t experienced the ultimate success since the time when young interns were causing problems in the Oval Office.

Truth be told, I’m not going to sit here and ruminate on how bad things got in 2022.  Rest assured they got bad, but giving rent free space from the confines of my skull to such thoughts would be a counterproductive, inefficient calorie burn.

Instead, I’m going to list off the worstest things that happened and their positive outcome. 

All of that other stuff that happened, and there was a lot, is being removed from the dry erase board to makes space for other things.

Let’s start with Covid.

If there was any day you could pick to get Covid, besides never, it would be Valentine’s Day.

Wifey and I both had it that day, and it put one of us in the hospital for a few days.

But wait.  There’s more.

While in the hospital, various doctors ordered a series of tests and scans and ultimately discovered a cancerous growth on one of our kidneys.  Based on its size, it was estimated to have been several years old.  It had not been previously identified.

By May 1st, that thing was extricated and deposited into a trash can which possessed the ability to sense and signal off-speed pitches.  Such a talent is wasted as a receptacle for discarded body parts. 

The patient and their solitary kidney recovered nicely.

Had it not been for the greatest hit of 2020, we would not have found that tumor anytime soon, and things would have gotten worserer.

Don’t worry my dear reader.  It got worserer elsewhere.

After I walk the dogs and get them out of their New Year’s Eve fireworks inspired sedation haze, I’ll tell you all about that part.

And then there was that time in July when I decided on a week’s notice to fly to the Rocky Mountains with the goal of closing down that branch and relocating its manager to my spare bedroom.

The signs had been there throughout the spring of 2022 that something was just not right with the TharpSter Mom anymore.  When her aging cocker spaniel passed, it hit me that her support system was limited with her living by herself 1000 miles away.

I couldn’t reconcile or rationalize that in my own mind, so I got her into a new environment as quickly as I could.

Within a month of arriving in Texas, things got worserer for Mom as her body and mind started shutting down.  After a two week stay in the hospital, she was transferred to a long term care facility where she resides today.

As of this writing, she just finished a 10 day tour in the isolation ward with about 15 other residents who have tested positive for Covid in recent weeks.

A few weeks ago, before she tested positive, I was sitting with her in her room and a nurse had come in to change a bandage.  Mom doesn’t really communicate anymore, and I rely on her non-verbal cues to get feedback from her.

“Mom we’re just changing the bandage on your arm so the wound doesn’t get any worserer.”

“Worserer?”  Mom hadn’t said a whole lot in recent months, and when she did speak up, she picked up on one of my own little jokes. 

That made my day.

So let’s recap.

Last year, lots of stuff went bad.

No duh.

At the same time, consider what came of it.

A cancerous kidney mass was rendered moot.

We got a support system in place for Mom just when she needed it.

Obviously I would rather not have had to deal with the issues I dealt with in 2022.  Given that was not an option, I’m glad they were resolved the way they were.

What’s next?