I got a call from the vet today.

I didn’t really expect it, but it happened anyway.

“Your dog Faith has been found.”

“Really?”

First of all, Faith wasn’t lost.

Second of all, the weather was fine today.  There was no rain, no wind, no thunder, and no invading aliens with muffler problems.  As such, I chose to clarify.  “She got out?  Is it raining?”

“No.”

“Hmmmmm.”  Faith, the 9 3/4 toed, high strung lab-jack typically leaves the premises without locking up behind her when the rain, thunder, and aliens come.

“Would you like the phone number of the person who reported her?  They still have her.”

“Yeah sure.  I’ll have them bring her to you if we could just board her for the rest of the day.”

“That’s fine.  Here’s the number….”

Flash forward about 30 seconds and I’m now talking to a stranger I haven’t spoken to.  “Hi, my name is Randy.  I believe you have my dog?”

“Yeah, I think so.  What does she look like?”

“She’s black with a white chest and a blue harness.  If you look closely enough she’s missing part of her toe as a result of playing with too many firecrackers.”

“That’s what this one looks like.  What’s her name?”

“Faith.”

“Okay, I’m going to put the phone up to her.  Talk to her.”

That’s right people.  I was beckoned to talk to my dog over a cell phone today.  Set aside how successful such an act could be.  What exactly do you say to a dog who’s just been caught red handed sneaking out of the domain so as to go play doorbell ditch?

Once you do, at what point when you start talking to your dog over the phone do you move to conclude the conversation and ask the dog to put the human back on?

And to think I had nothing to discuss today.