This one goes out to all of you masktivists who have cultivated and curated strongly held beliefs about masks since the onset of this international panty raid presented by such a wonderful dumpster fire of a year.

Ladies and gentlemen (I use that term to show every ounce of respect that I’ve generally lost for you), you’re the ones that are posting links to articles and videos on your social feeds about how the science supports your position.  Never mind the fact that the arguments on both sides of the spectrum are compelling.

Your righteous indignation is tiring.

Your rants are boring.

Your links are being ignored.

You’re being a stupid maskhole. 

There’s a subset of friends in our (mine at least) social networking feeds which are kept just beyond the reach of a 10′ pole saw because they’re trafficking in all sorts of cognitive dissonance over the last election and the next one, race relations, and whether Han shot first.

If you don’t know it already, know it now.  Your masktivities have matriculated you right into that subset of people being ignored immediately because you just won’t shut the mask up.

Seriously people, the only reason I haven’t banished you from my friends list is because you’re actively providing me high quality examples of how to recognize when the door is off its hinge. 

That’s right.  You’ve been mooted.

Do you think your dumbmask tactics are working?

I can assure you they’re not.

It seems that there was some dude named Schrödinger, who either loved or hated cats, came up with a theory many years ago.  In essence, he would box one up with a lethal chew toy and let nature take its course.

The key was that you never really knew whether the cat was dead or alive in there until you opened the box.  As such, the cat was both alive and dead at the same time until a box opening ceremony could confirm whether the chew toy was successful.

There are probably some finer details to that theory that I either missed or masked.  Fortunately, there’s a vast web of computers networked together for the soul purpose of information exchange and the sharing of pictures of nekid ladies in which you could go look it up.

For those of you playing the home game, the keyboard shortcut to get that diaeresis over the letter ‘O’ is “alt+148”.  I haven’t found any ASCII code for diarrhea, but that’s probably all the better anyway.

I bring up Schrödinger’s cat because it applies to all of the doosh-maskery we’ve been subjected to this year.

Right now, ladies and gentlemen (again a show of respect that I’ve lost), the cat is in the box with the chew toy which tastes surprisingly like a coronavirus born in some lab in the middle of the PRC.  The box is sealed up good and tight with masking tape.

The cat in the box is named Mask.

Until we can open that box by navigating our way from one reality to another, Mask is both effective and ineffective at the same time.

Such travel is not possible, so the duality of Mask will persist.

Now I’m not here today to preach my own personal views about masks.  Mask is still taped up in the damn box as all cats, especially that one that hangs around the yard, should be.

For that matter, I’m not even here today to tell all y’all (a little Texan dialect there) to stop the maskanity with your constant diatribes, virtue signaling, and other jibber jabber.

Nope.

Like I said before, I’m just here to point out the fact that your being an insufferable maskhole.

What you do with that little tidbit is totally up to you.