The real problem with Blockbuster isn’t the fact that its competition has figured out how to go beyond simple DVD rentals by running its service features through game consoles and the Internet.

The real problem with Blockbuster isn’t because one of its other competitors has managed to plant automated rental machines all over grocery stores, malls, and convenience stores which allow its customers to rent fast and cheap.

Nope.

The real problem with Blockbuster is the deal they run in candy, popcorn, and soda combos.  That’s not to say the deal is good or bad per se.  It would seem that store employees appear to have been threatened within an inch of their lives if they don’t shamelessly whore the combo at least three times to each customer who darkens the door.

The real problem with Blockbuster is the employees who are oblivious to the real reason the customer is there.  Reason being to rent movies featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare), not to be reminded ad nauseam about deals on candy, popcorn and soda combos.

But hell, what do I know?

I’m just the customer.

I’m just the customer who was minding his own business looking through the current crappy selection of new releases (Hollywood’s fault, not so much Blockbuster’s) for a movie featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare) when I was approached by an employee handing out flyers advertising the candy, popcorn, and soda combo, and told that everyone was taking advantage of it.

I’m the customer who politely took the little flyer advertising the deal, said “Thanks” and then left the flyer on the overstocked wall featuring “Cowboys & Aliens” once you walked away to assault another customer.

I’m the customer who selected a movie featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare).  The action film featured supporting roles portrayed by the likes of Robert Downy Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, and Mickey Rourke.  I also selected a box of Hot Tamales.

After selecting my movie featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (preferably bare), I’m the one who proceeded to wait in a long line.  I’m one of the customers who was still waiting in line when the boss realized the line was too long and called you over from assaulting customers with the candy, popcorn, and soda combo flyers to take care of a register and help to clear the long line.

I’m the customer who was next in the long line when you finally got to your register, and instead of calling me over to assist with my rental of a movie featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare), you took a call from another Blockbuster store to answer questions about the new Blue Ticket program.  I’m the customer who continued to wait in line while you tried to answer the questions on the phone and yell across the way to the boss at the other register in order to get answers they needed.  When you put the phone call on hold, I’m the customer you finally called over after making me wait a few more minutes.

I’m the customer whose Rewards card didn’t work on your computer because you’re doing the Blue Ticket program.

I’m the customer you left hanging at your register mid-transaction so you could return to your phone call with the other store without so much as extending the courtesy of letting me know it would be a few more minutes before I could go home to watch a movie featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare).

I’m the customer who was tempted to reach over the counter and hang up your phone while you aimlessly babbled with the other store.

During your stunt of leaving me hanging, I’m the customer whose wife pulled out her smart phone and started posting about the experience on Facebook as it was happening.  I’m the customer whose wife has been known to do this in similar situations.

When you finally got off the phone and returned to your provision of a bad Blockbuster experience, I’m the customer who jumped your case when you pointed to my Hot Tamales, and offered to complete the ensemble with your candy, popcorn, and soda deal.

I’m the customer who admonished you not to tell me to “calm down”, and that your priorities in dispensing good customer service were misplaced.

I’m the customer whose wife put it very plain clear and simple to you that for the last five minutes, you had spent more time taking care of an employee at another store than you had taken care of your own customers at your own store.

I’m the customer who has encountered similar treatment in your store before and is seriously considering discontinuing his relationship with Blockbuster.  I’m the customer who has spent his entire adult life in some sort of position or another where providing good customer service was crucial.  I’m the customer who is intolerant of bad customer service.

I’m the customer with a game console, access to the internet, and access to “do it yourself” rental machines which will provide me with access to a movie featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare).

Such access will render the need for Blockbuster in my life excessively moot.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go research other DVD rental services on line.  Of course, that will be after I watch a movie featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare).

Update:  This blog was featured on a discussion board where Blockbuster employees took issue with my concerns.  Beginning on 04/26, you can read the follow up blog here.