Well ladies and gentlemen, in all of my years of offering up prescient yet unsolicited advice on how people should do things so as to avoid lateral scateral (shit going sideways) and to mitigate the ire of others, it would seem that I’ve been ignored.

Again.

Rest assured my dear reader, I’m not feeling very butt hurt over this one.  To be butt hurt over this one would imply that I don’t see the opportunity to sit here in righteous indignation and nipple laden corpulence a few months down the road when lateral scateral happens and I get to announce to the world in the most verbally brilliant of fashions that I was right.

That’s not the only reason I won’t be butt hurt though.

I’ve been ignored many times, however the quality of the times in which I was taken seriously far outweighs the quantity of those same events.

Efforts I undertook throughout the year 2016 kept this country from going down a treacherous path by keeping the wronger of the two wrong people out of the hot seat.

Certainly, you may not personally feel a lighter load from all of the regulations that have been rolled back, but your 401k is looking a pretty good.

At this point, you can thank me for the high quality, Macedonian content, and I will graciously and humbly say “You are welcome.”

But I’m not here to talk about politics….

Actually, I am, just a different kind.

This last week, the NFL called in an audible which will heretofore be referred to by yours truly as LatScat18.

**Authors note – for what it’s worth, I just thought up the term ‘Lateral Scateral’ as I set purple crayon to the Big Chief tablet that is my OneNote to compose this piece.  In my mind, it’s pretty darned funny, and I’m going to milk and extrude it for all it’s worth.

LatScat18 is the latest edict from the NFL which addresses the controversy which drove viewership down by 8-10% last season.  Certainly I’d like to take some credit for that one.  I dubbed the whole spectacle as ‘Dodge’ around week 4 last year as I got the hell out of watching it all together.  Within a few weeks, I realized that participating in a fantasy league through ESPN wasn’t consistent with my stand on principle alone so I stopped doing that as well.

So I’d like to take credit for the dip in the ratings last year, but I can’t and won’t.  To do so would suggest that I’m the only one in this great country of ours who doesn’t appreciate watching others protest our flag and National Anthem.

Sure it’s their right to do so, but it’s not their right to shove it in my face.

Anyway, LatScat18 requires all players who are on the field at the time the National Anthem is played to stand and show respect.  Players who have no intention of showing such respect can stay in the locker room until the show of patriotism is over.

Let me say right here and now that LatScat18 will be a futile exercise in DipShittery.

This will just continue the discussion in the NFL arena and result in more players hanging around in the locker room during the National Anthem.  Need I remind you that the original reason for the protest had nothing to do with the NFL?

The broadcast networks will look to get cameras in there to show players taking a knee.  Fans like me will continue to be irritated by this, and go look for something to binge watch on Netflix instead.

Have you ever tried to put out a fire with a gasoline?

Now I could tell you what other parties both for and against the measure think about this move.  The mission statement here at TharpSter.Org doesn’t really call for me as its chief purveyor of verbal brilliance and periodic maintenance man to summarize the opinions of others.  You’re here to read my opinion only, so I’m going to hit you with a bunch of “I believe” statements.

I believe the NFL has the right to exercise dominion over its product.  That includes broadcast standards, integrity of the game, and behavior of its employees.  That is no different from any other enterprise, be it a sports organization, an auto manufacturer, a financial institution, a retail hardware chain, or a small business.

I believe the NFL has a rich history of exercising some pretty heavy handed and ill-conceived dominion over its product.

I believe the NFL should require all employees with a position on the field during a game should be on the field during the National Anthem.  This includes players, coaches, support staff, security, and a host of other positions which no one ever thinks of.

I believe the National Anthem should be played at every game.  The NFL has built itself up on American patriotism for years from the playing of the National Anthem, to the Blue Angel flyovers, to their logo which features the stars and stripes.  There are even some teams who sport our national colors or are even named after some of our national symbols.

I believe the NFL should not enjoin staff on the field from protesting the National Anthem.  If they want to kneel, hold up a fist, or pick their nose at that time, let them do it.  Certainly it’s their right as an American, but as exerciser of dominion over its product, the NFL has final say on whether they can do it on the field.

I believe the NFL should exercise dominion over its product when staff on the field kneels during the National Anthem.  In this case, the NFL should enjoin the broadcast networks from showing anything but the US Flag, the flyover, or the individual(s) performing the National Anthem.  The NFL doesn’t allow the networks to show people who get onto the field so that they can streak or perform other hi-jinks.  The same type of rule could be put in place for on-field protests.

I believe that NFL employees who want to raise awareness for an issue have access to other avenues to voice their message, and it’s not the job of the NFL to give them that platform.

My decision to watch football this season hasn’t been made yet, and is dependent on a few factors.

Will the protests continue to be broadcasted?  I’m probably out.

Will the NFL let the protests happen but not let it be broadcasted?  Rest assured, I’m not tuning in to watch political statements.  I’ll stay around and watch a game or two each week.

Unless there’s something to watch on Netflix……