“Man alive, if I see one more report from the local new station featuring another avatar of vacuous vapidity talking about ways to liven up our collective self-imposed quarantine while maintaining a quality hand washing regimen like we’re all a bunch of ‘effin idiots, I’m going to make up a new word and write a blog.”
I didn’t say those words out loud the other day as I passed the living room TV on the way to the kitchen from my temporary work station which has appropriated the Bloggery for the time being. Instead, I made a mental note and proceeded with seeking out a green tea flavored beverage to guzzle and glug during my morning meetings.
For what it’s worth, the new word is “Retarditude”.
I’m not going to go into any detail defining it here because it’s meaning should be pretty self-evident. If it’s not, go watch the local news and let the broadcast syphon off some synaptic activity that could be put to better use elsewhere.
Beyond that, I’m not going to engage in a calorie burn discussing the ongoing idiocy of these people.
If this were any other Saturday morning, I would have proceeded with slathering copious amounts of cream cheese on an Everything bagel, followed by consuming that bad boy along with a Monster Mean Bean beverage. I would have shared a bite or two with Faith, the TharpSter Treadmill who in my days of working at home has taken up the mantle of management by wandering around. So much so that I’m going to change her name to Bill Lumbergh before I’m allowed to go back to the office.
Irregardlessly, we’re not in the midst of a normal Saturday morning today.
The primary reason is that I’m out of bagels, and the assorted grocery stores and super-centers which surround the compound here in a resounding epitome of abundance manage to stock toilet paper at certain times of the day, but have completely abandoned fulfilling my desire to pick various seeds and grains from my grill by not stocking one of my preferred breakfast foods.
All things being equal, if the only thing I have to complain about during these times is local TV personalities and my inability to acquire Everything bagels on the regular, then life ain’t so bad and I’ll engage the Kwicherbichen maneuver.
There are plenty of other people out there with bigger problems than I have, so I’ll just leave it that.
Wash your hands people.
