“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I don’t know what dumbass posited that silly notion, but it just ain’t true.  Surely it’s been attributed to a genius, however it appears that proponents for the war on drugs may have coined it.

Naturally, one could go out to their favorite search engine on a vast network of computers and servers to look it up.  Granted, by doing so you’re conforming to the pattern of this world and the rapid onset of insanity it continues to experience under the influence said vast network computers and servers exerts on our daily lives.

As such, I’ve decided to consult a dictionary which sports the carbon footprint and weight equivalent to seven corpulent chihuahua’s and a well hung, territorial dachshund which never resists the urge to trash talk me from the safety of his front yard whenever I walk by with the TharpSter TreadMill and Mag-B the SLab.  The dictionary in question was given to my grandfather in the 70’s when he retired from preaching that English is resplendent with so many quality words, that one shouldn’t resort to the use of profanity.

This last spring, shortly before the TharpSter New Year, I was presented with a second hand Roomba by one of my first hand brothers-in-law.

Or is that brother-in-laws?

Irregardlessly, I had made the comment that I was thinking about getting one.  He indicated that he had just upgraded his, and charged me with including it in the load of leftovers I was putting in the car from the potluck we had just flawlessly executed.

“One thing about this thing is that the spring mechanism in the wheels is a little off.” he admonished.  “This keeps it from docking and charging correctly, so you’ll need to put a magazine or something under it to prop it up so the charging connection is made.  Did you want to take some of these beans too?  I know you don’t like beans, but we have just too many.”

Having rejected the offer for the beans with just a dash of effective profanity (one of those quality words for which the English language is resplendent didn’t come to mind as quickly as I had hoped), I took my new second hand Roomba home and proceeded to find the right piece of flotsam to prop under that bad boy so that it would charge.

I started with a mousepad, mainly because I don’t have any magazines laying around the house because they’re just too darned conformist to the pattern of the world. 

That worked until it didn’t.

And when it didn’t, I found myself in possession of a magazine which targets alumni at the University of North Texas (UNT).

It wasn’t really addressed to me, but that didn’t keep me from testing it’s thickness against the needs of the Roomba to be charged.

That also worked until it didn’t.

So there I am, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.  I’m propping up the back end of a device that will keep me from breaking out a broom, all in the hopes that on that one specific occasion, the charging gizzies on the docking station will line up perfectly with the charging thingamabobs on the Roomba itself.

Just to reiterate, the English language is resplendent with quality words.

Ladies and gentlemen, adjusting a magazine, or a mousepad repeatedly to get the Roomba to charge isn’t insanity.

Instead, it’s a sign that I’m experiencing cognitive dissonance.

It’s that epiphonic thump on the head where I come to realize that reality no longer aligns correctly with my perception of reality, much like the misalignment of those charging nodule doohickies on my broom replacement device.

Once you experience cognitive dissonance, you now have a choice to either break it or embrace it.

To break it, I need to give up on propping that thing up whenever I charge it.  That means I either need to replace a part or replace the second-hand Roomba which accompanied a bowl of potato salad.

To embrace it implies that I have to hold fast to my biases and stay locked in on my questionable perception of reality that continued propping will work, and that I just haven’t found the right approach yet. 

Yeah socialism actually works, it just hasn’t been implemented in a manner to avoid the associated tyranny yet.

Years ago when I coached baseball, I had a 5 gallon bucket full of baseballs that I used to sit on during games.  Today, I use that bucket around the house when the need calls for me to get down low and my knees and ankles suggest that ain’t gonna happen.

I was sitting on that bucket the other day when I was experiencing cognitive dissonance with a device designed to keep me from running a vacuum every once in a while.

Break it or embrace it, what am I going to do?

I then remembered another approach I’ve adopted in recent years for those times when I’m out of options. I’ve got to create new options.

I spied a book on antique bookshelves which were just behind the docking station.  It was that very book that would solve my problem.

I’d like to thank Kristine Carlson for Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women. 

It worked perfectly.