The dulcet tones of a big man snoring fill the room right now as we sit here watching the Texans eek one out.

Various siblings-in-law conspire amongst themselves about the methods in which they will hit the giant retailers tomorrow in a fashion which could only make the anti-consumerist cheek of Tyler Durden twitch.

Granted, you’re reading this dispatch no earlier than Black Friday, 2012.  As I write this, it’s still Thanksgiving Day.

Several of us have our assorted smart phones and tablets out as we text others, assault green pigs, check our fantasy football scores, and compose verbal brilliance for an otherwise dull Internet.

And then there’s the big man snoring on the couch.

It’s safe to assume that at least three of us have emitted copious levels of methane through our collective anii (at least I think that’s plural for ‘anus’).

One of the more positive outcomes of today’s events revolves around Wifey’s discovery of a Hostess secret while in the process of making cake balls.

Cake balls.

Don’t forget the big man snoring though, or that goofy looking Disneyland hat that was placed on his melon by a mischievous brother-in-law.

That all fails in comparison to what edible delicacy almost made the trip to Thanksgiving dinner.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, the TharpSter.Org board of directors was charged with bringing rolls and something chocolate.

Let’s talk rolls.

For the last several years, there’s been a strategy within Wifey’s family to make rolls by placing two dough balls in each compartment of the muffin pan.

Dough Balls.

The resulting roll is not only quite palatable, but it’s aesthetically pleasing as well.  The dual roll baked into one becomes one which is easy to pull apart.

When they were introduced all those years ago, Junior took to calling them Butt Rolls.  This is primarily because the top of the divided roll looks like a butt.

Flash back to a week ago when I was discussing our vittles assignment with Wifey.

“Why don’t you just bake chocolate covered rolls?” I suggested sarcastically.

“Better yet, why don’t I make butt rolls and slip a Hershey’s Kiss in the crevice?”

That’s right.  Rolls that look like they’re pooping.

Not since Snoopy and the gang got creative with the toast and popcorn has a more creative dish been offered up on the day set aside for giving thanks.

Martha Stewart would be so proud.