Burnin’ Quarters, Two At A Time

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On what used to be the northwest outskirts of town, there’s a multi screen googooplex of a theater which caters to those of us in the region and our movie going desires.  This summer alone, you can catch movies featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire loaded for bear (or bare), the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway in skin tight attire writhing in ecstasy on the Batcycle, or even Madea making some stupid ass Skittles joke about the colors of the rainbow in a continued pathetic attempt to preserve the ongoing assault of Tyler Perry on cinematic integrity.

 

Memo to Tyler Perry.  Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence have already beat the rented mule to death of dressing up like a “comical” heavy woman.

 

Stop it.

 

Just stop it.

 

The particular googooplex I discuss here hosted yours truly and the members of the board last night.  Wifey and I went to one movie and the kids went to another one.  To those of you who still have young ones which can’t be sent off on their own, I offer the most respectful “Neener neener” that I can.

 

Neener neener.

 

Since Batman got-r-done about 30 minutes faster than Spiderman did last night, Wifey and I found ourselves loitering in the lobby of the googooplex waiting for the kids to finish with their movie.  The alternative was to leave and let the kids fend for themselves in getting home.

 

Neener neener.

 

While waiting, I decided to sit down at a table top arcade game featuring Ms. Pac Man and Gallaga.  For those of you who don’t remember the early 80’s, Gallaga is a slightly modified  version of Galaxian, which is a souped up version of Space Invaders, which is a souped up and electronic alternative of the old playground game “Smear the queer”.

 

It should be stated here that the term “queer” represented the poor soul with the football being chased by everyone else, and was no reflection on the sexual orientation on the kid with the ball.

 

I can remember wasting literally hours away in my pre and early teens walking to the local inconvenience store and burning quarter after quarter after quarter on Galaxian.  I was probably addicted.

 

A few years later, the neighbor across the street had procured a couple of the machines and installed one in his basement.  His brother was my orthodontist, and he just happened to install one in his office for the kids who had already brushed their teeth and were waiting to get their racks adjusted.

 

It should probably be stated here that the term “racks” represented in the previous statement refers to……..

 

Never mind.  You know what I mean.

 

So there I was, waiting for the kids to come out of their movie.  I noticed the game and realized I had a whole load of quarters in my pocket.  The reason for that load is unknown, however I had made a comment to the cashier in the cafeteria earlier in the day that I should hit an arcade.

 

Spooky.

 

Hmmmm.  Quarters and time to burn, and there’s Gallaga.  I sat down and put a handful of change on the game.  I inserted a coin and prepared to save the universe from linear minded aliens.

 

“Insert one more coin to begin playing” is what it told me.

 

Well That’s Fantastic.

 

Really?  The price to play Gallaga has doubled in price in 30 years?

 

Certainly I could understand the games which have been created in the last decade to require at least $0.50 a play, but Gallaga?

 

Unbelievable.

 

I probably could have burned through several dollars of coinage on that game if Spiderman had taken his time to finish up.  Had that actually happened, I wouldn’t have a bowl full of quarters on my dresser begging for a ride (in pairs of course) to the theater.

 

Maybe I’ll save them for Total Recall and my favorite character, Polly Mastia.

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