Spoofing The Spoof

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Well ladies and gentlemen, it would seem that our elected officials are hard at work in our state and local governments criminalizing the resources utilized by criminal organizations.

That’ll fix ’em!

Man alive, I swear these people are nothing but a cheap belt with delusions of grandeur about getting the job done.

Authors note:  Last week I bought a new garment of clothing which was cheaper than my last trip to the movie theater.  I’m still undecided whether said garment lives up to any of my expectations; other than the fact that you get what you pay for.  None the less, the event inspired me to flesh out a new metaphor.

*hoists britches up*

This last week, the Texas House passed a bill which prohibits telemarketers from falsifying their caller ID information.

That’s right people.

If this bill makes it all the way through the state legislature and to the governor’s desk where it gets signed into law, those of us here in the great state of Texas will have an extra layer of protection when we receive that third call in a week offering us the wonderful opportunity of fortifying our stronghold with the ability to receive and process solar energy.

Just consider what tools we as the consumer will have with the ability of tracking down those callers.

The phone rings.  The caller ID tells us immediately that it’s “Solar Solutions” or some other bullshit company name with the word “Solar” in it.  Against our better judgement to ignore the call, we answer it.  “It’s a beautiful day in Texas, this is TharpSter.  How can I help you?”

Caller:  “Hi this is Brian calling from Solar Solutions, or some other bullshit company name with the word ‘solar’ in it.  Is this Mr. Ta-Harp?”  The telemetry of this call tells us that ‘Brian’ is not his real name.

Me:  “This is TharpSter.”

Brian:  “Mr. Ta-Harp, I’m calling today to qualify you for a chance to outfit your home with solar energy.  Do you pay more than $100 a month in energy costs?”

Me:  “Brian are you aware of the fact that your employer is breaking the law by having you call me with these offers?  How does it feel to know that your ethics and morality are being compromised by an outfit which willingly skirts federal law when it comes to telemarketing and people on the National Do Not Call list?”

Brian, of course, didn’t hear the whole question because once the phrase “breaking the law” was uttered, he disconnected the call, uttered a profanity about Mr. Ta-Harp in his native tongue, and proceed to his next call.

Thanks to the wonders of House Bill 1992 taken up by the Texas Legislature in 2019, the nefarious bastards at Solar Solutions or some other bullshit company name with the word “solar” in it are no longer allowed to deliberately falsify the information transmitted to our collective caller ID displays.  The protections of this bill will allow the consumer to identify who’s calling and take additional steps to stop future calls.

Representative Ben Leman ( R ) of Anderson, Texas proposed the measure, and is quoted as saying the following about it:  “The most offensive part of spoofing (falsifying caller ID data) is that when you go to block the number, they can call you again from one digit off the number they just called from.  The end result is endless calls from telemarketers to your home and an endless loop of you trying to block numbers.”

Apparently Rep. Leman of Anderson, Texas didn’t consult one of the more fruitful resources on the internet for dealing with the guerilla telemarketing industry.  Perhaps he ignored my writings on the matter and endeavored to call me using a spoofed phone number.  If he did, the resources at my beck and call blocked his inquiries.

If Rep. Leman was quoted correctly, I’m led to believe that his understanding of how the outfits he’s targeting is incomplete.  As such, I’m going to round out that understanding right now.

There are two different types of telemarketers.

The first type complies with the Do Not Call provisions of the Telemarketing Sales Rule.  These people access the National Do Not Call Registry and take steps to avoid calling consumers who have added their numbers to that list. 

First of all, these people have no reason to falsify their caller ID data because they are obeying the law to start off with.  They are not calling people who have chosen not to receive sales calls.  If/when they do, they have procedures in place which prevents them from making future calls to the same person again.

The nefarious bastards make up the other type of telemarketers.  They’ve bypassed federal law by ignoring the Do Not Call Registry in order to place repeated calls to us in hopes of selling us a lifetime supply of snake oil.  Spoofing their phone number is a tool of their trade, and making that illegal in the state of Texas isn’t going to slow them down at all for a number of reasons.

Even though I’m in Texas and the caller ID indicates a Texas area code, I would bet a significant quantity of frozen miniature peanut cups that our friend Brian from Solar Solutions or some other bullshit company name with the word “solar” in it is calling from out of state or country.  Does the state of Texas have the power and desire to extend beyond state lines to prosecute these people on spoofing charges?

More importantly, these people are already breaking the law by calling us in the first place.  They have no fear about making that call, why would spoofing their number make them reconsider the consequences of making harassing calls? 

Rep. Leman, I hope you understand my cynicism about your legislation.  Based on my experience with these people, I don’t believe your “super duper anti-spoofer bill” (your words, not mine) addresses the real issue at play here.

If you really want to legislate a solution to the issue, you have to find a way to make it harder for these people to call us in the first place.  Even then, it probably can’t even be done at the state level.

Boom Shanka y’all

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