For just about as long as I can remember, I’ve had regular and frequent access to a jug, jar, pitcher, or vessel of a fruit flavored drink.

Let’s do some level setting here. For sake of the discussion here, I’m going to call it Kool Aid. I know the term is brand specific, but just deal with it. I don’t refer to the copier as the Xerox, or my personal cassette player as a Walkman, or my time machine as a Daloreon. On the other hand, I do refer to my mp3 player as my iPhone, and my “Hey I’m thirsty, I need a swig of something out of the fridge beverage” as Kool Aid.

For whatever reason only the Butt family knows, my local grocer has stopped carrying Kool Aid (the brand) in the quart sized packets. Regardless of flavor and whether it’s leaded with sugar or not, you just can’t get your “Oh Yeah” on at HEB in my neck of the woods.

For those of you not familiar with the geography of my domain and the offerings of grocery stores, HEB is the place to go. It was founded in the Texas hill country by some dude with the last name of Butt. He used his own personal initials to name the store.

That’s right people. I get my groceries from the Butt.

Rumor has it that one of the higher up head honchos of that chain was instrumental in killing the anti groping bill which would have made TSA pat downs illegal in the state of Texas earlier this year. Once I get around to validating that, I’ll probably begrudgingly take my bidness elsewhere.

None the less, I can’t seem to get the Kool Aid brand of merchandise from the Butt anymore. They appear to have stopped selling it in the serving size I desire. When we discovered this a few weeks ago, we tried Wylers and Crystal Light. Both of those offerings served as decent replacements with the differences so minor it was almost hard to appreciate them.

After all, it’s not like telling the difference between fries offered up by Micky D’s or Burger King.

This last week, we picked up the HEB brand of fruit drink.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what evil tastes like.

Have you had Tropical Punch fruit drink from the Butt?

I can assure you it’s no more appetizing than what it sounds.