Today, ladies and gentlemen, was fraught with suffrage.  The worst thing about it is that I’m sitting here in a Chili’s getting really bad customer service from a flamboyant individual sporting a goofy ass Mohawk, skinny jeans, and a incredible ability to show off his colossal skills of in-attentativeness (presenteeism).

But enough of the suffering and back to the suffrage.

Today, I voted.

I voted for contaminated soil.  (When I mistyped “contaminated” Autocorrect changed it to “fonts monster”)

I voted for dirty, fonts monster water.

I voted for war with any country who dares to piss us off.

I voted for e-coli.

I voted to ship ’em all back.

I voted to keep ’em barefoot, pregnant, and generally subjugated.

I voted to put ’em back in chains.

I voted to let the uninsured go without healthcare.

I voted to suppress the rights of others.

I voted to help make the rich, richer.

I voted to send jobs overseas.

I voted for the 1%.

Every single implication, fabrication, assertion, and accusation which has been uttered about the right throughout this campaign season served as a chad to dangle in favor of voting my values.

I voted responsibly.

But that’s not the only thing I did.

You may remember a sign I called attention to a few days ago which encourages simple minded souls to stop the Republican war on woman by voting Democrat.

At my polling station (heh-heh,  “polling”), they had a few of those stupid ass signs stacked on top of each other.

Shortly after taking a picture for posterity sake, I called in an airstrike.