After a week away from the domain setting up digs in the northern auxiliary branch of TharpSter.Org, Junior appears to be well on his way.
Within a matter of days, he was stacking drinking cups in the most stupefying assaults on the laws of physics. At the same time, he maintained a presence of mind to adhere to TharpSter.Org General Order #731 involving the practice of taking pictures of less than ordinary happenstances, and TharpSter.Org General Order #731.5 which dictates that said picture be uploaded to a social media outlet.
A few days after that, Junior committed a major breach in the protocol dictated by TharpSter.Org General Order #423. That particular order involves texting the Organization (the Board of Directors in particular) with a request for cash to purchase school books.
Ideally, the requirement for Junior to obtain books for his classes creates an S.E.P. field in my book. As such, why should I pay for them?
You do know what an S.E.P. field is don’t you?
No?
Well then. Allow me to make a literary reference for you then. I was reminded of the S.E.P. field this morning while dining on Corn Chex (some were shared with Hope) this morning in the backyard starter kit while reading about life, the universe, and everything.
I’m quite proud to brag here and now, ladies and gentlemen, that I was also successful with carrying out TharpSter.Org General Order #731 by taking a picture of a common house fly committing what I can only ascertain to be sexual assault on a wayward crumb of Corn Chex. The edible victim found itself hanging on for dear life on the edge a Styrofoam bowl when it was beset by it’s would-be assailant.
Where was I?
Oh, yes. The book and the S.E.P field.
The book, of course, was aptly named Life, The Universe, and Everything.
It should probably be stated right here and now that any reference I make to that book in today’s post will not be properly documented in accordance with the MLA Handbook. That stuff is for college freshmen in their second semester of English & Literature class who endeavor to write 20 page, double spaced, term papers on their extensive research into the use of various literary devices found in books such as A Farewell to Arms, Lord of the Flies, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Wuthering Heights, and of course the traditional favorite, Everybody Poops.
At best, the only reference you’ll get from me here is an underlined book title, and the passage in question placed in italics. Typically, I reserve italics for really bitchin Latin phrases, but I’ll make an exception here. If the Modern Language Association wants to brand me as a non-conformist and excommunicate me like I’m hoping the AARP will, so be it. (Note: I’m not a member of the AARP, but I’m guessing they’ll start littering my mailbox in about 6 years unless I’m able to successfully shut down all delivery of physical mail. At least now I have a time frame for one of my ultimate goals.)
An S.E.P. field is Somebody Else’s Problem. Literally.
From the book:
The Somebody Else’s Problem field…..can be run for over a hundred years on a single flashlight battery. This is because it relies on people’s natural predisposition not to see anything they don’t want to, weren’t expecting or can’t explain.
Naturally, you can probably understand where Junior’s possession of an extraordinarily expensive collection of text books is a non-sequitor to my well being and success at thriving.
On the other hand, I do understand the concept of cause and effect as much as I can link John Wayne to Kevin Bacon in less than six degrees of separation via their respective movies.
Big picture, if Junior doesn’t get his books, he ends up back here in the domain racking up notches on his “Let’s irritate Dad belt”.
No thanks. I’ll buy the books.
For what it’s worth, Junior appears to have become astute in recent days of identifying S.E.P. fields while wandering around campus. He probably only has a peripheral understanding of the field without actually calling them out by name.
In fact, he took a picture of one just the other day. I foresee a time where he may be able to use this picture as some sort of documentary evidence for an upcoming term paper.
On a side note:
John Wayne was in The Searchers with Natalie Wood.
Natalie Wood was in Brainstorm with Christopher Walken.
Christopher Walken was in Batman Returns with Michael Keaton.
Michael Keaton was in She’s Having A Baby with Kevin Bacon.
