Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I’ve figured it out. I’ve spent just under 20 years in the confines of some sort of cubicle or office where they hotel the staff from one work station to another.
I’ve seen it all by now in the world of fabric covered modular walls. I’ve participated in my share of video conferences where the coworker sitting next to me made faces as I spoke. I’ve been on plenty of conferences calls where moot points were converted to mute points with the touch of a button and an ill fated attempt to put on a display of intelligence.
I can speak business-speak colloquially.
My Sunday go-to-meetin’ clothes are professional casual by mere coincidence. Professional casual has been my Monday through Thursday dress code for a majority of those years. It’s based on that dress code that I dispatch this little nugget of brilliance to you today. Pay attention because it’s a forehead thumper.
After all of this time I’ve figured things out. For years and years, I’ve been of the impression that the top dogs in any given company were the likes of the President, the CEO, the CFO, the COO, the HBIC, or any host of characters whose last names represent three or four letter acronyms.
Boy was I wrong. It’s none of those people.
You know who has the real power?
It’s the individual in charge of designating denim days.
You don’t believe me. Consider this.
For those of you who work for a company where the minimum dress code is non-denim, professional casual attire, when was the last time the top dog wandered into work wearing a button down oxford, penny loafers, and a pair of 501s without the pre-emptive email blast declaring a denim day?
For the younger crowd, 501s are blue jeans.
Unless you live in some parallel universe where you wear a goatee to represent your evil self, the answer to that question is an unequivocal “Never”.
That’s because the real power that governs how the top dog dresses on any give Monday through Thursday is the person who designates denim days. Easy as that.
Now that the jig is up and the news is out, I have a few questions.
Do the people who designate denim day have a budget on how many days they can declare?
Do they ever go over or under budget?
What is the difference between “denim with tennies” and “denim without tennies” from a professional attitude point of view?
For those companies located in cities without professional sports franchises which go to the playoffs a whole lot (Go Spurs), how are denim days determined?
Is there a direct relationship between the number of denim days and the size of the gene pool within a company that looks really good in a pair of jeans?
What is the compensation package involved with designating denim days? Does it get so high that it just comes down to stock options?
How is the quality of work measured when it comes to declaring a denim day?
And last, but not least by a long shot……
Where do I apply?
