“Wow, I’ve always seen you with a hat before.”

Yeah, that’s pretty much the first thing I hear from someone who has seen my flesh toned, follicle free melon for the first time without a lid on.

I just heard it a matter of minutes ago from Juniorette’s voice coach. He sports the same style quaff, so it wasn’t as shocking for him.

But still.

None the less, I really can’t bring myself to write about the defective Solyndra panels on my head. Certainly I have enough material, but I’ve already written about it at one point or another.

So naturally, that leaves me searching the memory banks for a viable subject in which to verbally brilliantize for the Internet today.

I swear if it weren’t for me, this place would fall apart.

There comes a point in every man’s life when he just needs to come to the realization that the varying shades of blue he donned today generally clash.

I blame that stupid yellow shirt that I initially put on this morning.

It’s too bright, especially for one who focuses on dark solids (or salads, take your pick).

It’s too big. I love being able to say that.

The shirt was a commemorative gift to mark a company milestone at the office last year. I was O.O.O. (Out Of Office for those of who are cubicle impaired) the day they passed them out. The individual who procured the shirt for me guessed on the size and flavor.

Meh.

Anyway, I put the thing on this morning thinking I could make it work. Once I had it on, tucked in and bloused out, Faith came in the room, beheld the sight of her master taking on the site of (insert metaphor which addresses something fat, ugly, and yellow right here), and threw up a little in her mouth before she wandered off shaking her head in disappointment and dismay.

I heard a snicker too.

I’ve asked it before and I’ll ask it again.

Who in their right mind makes something that bright and irritating in a 3x?

So I shucked the metaphor, grabbed the first shirt I saw and put it on.

Big picture, I can deal with the fact that I clash in muted colors as opposed to taking on the appearance of (reprise the fat ugly yellow metaphor).

Dress Responsibly Y’all.