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Forget about setting your watch on some namby pamby atomic clock that everyone is always talking about. It’s not accurate enough.
Instead, set it on the stupid shit that happens.
If you think this whole mess with Chick-Fil-A is over, you’ve got another thing coming, Buster.
I used the term ‘Buster’ because I didn’t want it to look like I was quoting a Judas Priest song lyric.
Not really a fan.
So let’s set the ongoing pickle boycott aside and discuss the latest developments. Of course, you’ll need some background. Here to provide the background is the Editor, who only types in italics.
Editors note: periodically here at TharpSter.Org, it becomes necessary to provide context around the authors use of the word “doosh”. Please understand that the author is familiar with the correct spelling of the word to be something that looks all fancy and born of the French language. At the same time, he also understands that a ‘douche’ is a vessel capable of holding water or other liquids. To metaphorically refer to someone as a ‘douche’ implies that their behavior, ideas, or statements are wholly capable of holding water or some other liquid.
Here at TharpSter.Org, we endeavor to use words correctly at all times. As such, we cannot abide by comparing behavior or statements we disagree with to that of a douche. It just doesn’t make sense. We test marketed the term “defective douche” with some focus groups, however the term failed to emote the anticipated response we were looking for.
On the other hand, the term ‘doosh’ tested pretty high. Given that people frequently misspell it anyway, the risk of being called to the mat for a perceived grammar boo-boo has been pretty low.
Thank you for your time. We now return you to today’s blog, another exciting excerpt from “Letters From The Past” already in progress.
First of all, if you haven’t seen the viral video where a self appointed do-gooder put his hyper inflated, pseudo righteous indignation in charge by harassing a Chick-Fil-A employee for purposes of loading it on the internet, then I’d personally like to congratulate you for maintaining a life outside of the internet. You and your 5 or 6 friends on Facebook can carry on with your meaningful lives while the rest of us wallow in the muck and the mire of all that is delivered to us via the blue pill of broadband.
I’m talking to the rest of you. You’re the ones that make this post easy for me because I don’t have to give you any background by putting a copy of the video here (it’s been removed from YouTube anyway), or link to any one of the news sites which managed to grab a copy of the video before it was removed.
Just for the sake of the privacy of the do-gooder, I’ll use a generic name when referring to him. Let’s go with Adam Smith. That’s sounds generic enough.
First of all, let’s enumerate the series of doosh moves Smith took part in during the Chick-Fil-A appreciation day.
- He ordered a free water from a drive thru.
- He waited a really long time in line to get up to the window to get his free water.
- He ambushed the young lady working the drive thru window with his own views over the entire subject matter which inspired Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day. All this he did while recording the entire incident.
- Even though his victim was nothing more than extra special nice, respectful, and courteous to him, Smith continued to make doosh-like remarks questioning her ability to sleep at night, and calling her employers out for their hatred. For what it’s worth, if TharpSter.Org ever installs a drive thru, the young lady from that video will be hired on the spot.
But wait, there’s more. If that wasn’t doosh enough, Mr. Adam Smith chose to leave the aforementioned indignation in charge by loading the video to You Tube.
What’s that about “Stupid is as stupid does”?
The results of this particular effort were pretty predictable. Smith’s email box loaded up with a whole bunch of ugly email. He and his family can’t live in their house right now because of the attention he’s gotten. The bad thing about that is that he has what I believe to be a couple of special needs children in his family.
Just to add fart to the flame, he was unceremoniously fired from his job where he was one of the head muckity-mucks. I’m guessing his home state of Arizona is a right to work state, but I really don’t know.
This goes back to what I said the other day about the whole Chick-Fil-A issue. People are going to say and do things which draw rebuke from others. It’s amazing that one rebuke inspired remark instigated a rebuke inspired behavior.
Whereas I don’t share Smith’s views, and I consider his actions to be the pinnacle of doosh baggery, I’m not really certain that the particular actions he took in that drive-thru the other day warrant his termination of employment.
Naturally I understand that if said doosh bag worked in a cubicle near mine, working in proximity to him on a regular basis would not be a pleasant one. I would most likely wait until he stepped away from his computer and then change the orientation on his mouse so that a left click would be a right click, and vice versa.
Perhaps it’s that feeling that his former employer felt coming on when they decided to terminate him. Perhaps it’s the fear that the employer would draw similar criticism for their stand on marriage.
I can only guess. Yet still, I question whether the punishment fits the crime.
As I said before, this thing isn’t over yet.
If there’s not one out there right now, I can assure you that within a matter of weeks, parody videos will land on the internet. If we were in the regular TV season right now, SNL would run a skit on it tomorrow night. If you don’t believe me, just remember that I called the attack on Bain Capital as a comparison to a Batman bad guy back in January.
In the end, this thing will blow over by the end of August in order to make room for the early arrival of an ambitious series of October surprises designed to curb the results of the upcoming mother of all opinion polls.
All things being equal, social activism over a plethora of issues has become excessively polarized in recent years. Instead of lobbing hateful emails, making malicious threats, and calling for boycotts of businesses, can’t we just add a “You’re a doosh” button to social media sites to convey our true, honest opinions?
