With the unfortunate outcome of this year’s Super Bowl and what I can only characterize as a poor excuse to hold my water (urine) in favor of checking out the lackluster roster of commercials, I find it necessary to offer up my own commentary on one of those particular offerings.

Watch ye, that for which I’m about to rant:

Read ye, my dear reader, my rant.

There are two points to be made here.
1. Good commercial, wrong song.
2. Enough with the political statements in the non-political arena already.

There’s been a lot in the news, on the web, and on social media in recent days regarding the decision for Coca Cola to air the commercial in multiple languages in the manner they did. It would seem the message they were trying to convey was that America is a diverse country loaded up with a variety of cultures, languages, and hand signals which can be interpreted by a take-no-prisoners defense.

I agree with that assertion with the following caveat.

I stand firm in my belief that anyone who wants to truly realize the American Dream needs to be able competently read, write, and speak English. That being said, I don’t believe the selection of the song “America the Beautiful” was the best selection of songs for this particular commercial.

It’s not at racist or bigoted belief.

It’s not a xenophobic belief.

It is what it is.

Consider the following.

In America:

• All federal employees whose jobs and duties involve the administration of an oath take that oath in English. The same goes for all state and local positions too.
• The US Constitution, along with it’s preceding documents (Declaration of a Independence, Articles of Confederation, Massachusetts Body of Liberties, etc) were written in English.
• All of the amendments, regulations, laws, and ordinances which have followed and derived their power from the US Constitution at all levels of government were written in English. That includes every single law written about immigration also.
• The officials who campaign and get themselves elected to the aforementioned positions do the majority of their campaigning in English.
• Consider all of the street signs across this nation of ours. It’s safe to assume that 95% of those signs are in English.
• Air traffic is controlled in English
• A large majority of business (small, medium, and large) is conducted everyday in English.
• Whereas driver’s license tests are conducted in a variety of languages, the eventual outcome (the license itself) is in English.
• A majority of GED’s, high school diplomas, and college degrees are produced in English.
• Government websites which offer up a Spanish version (I haven’t found sites with other languages yet) of their pages were initially produced in English, and appear that way when you initially enter the site.

For anyone to come to this great country of ours and expect to work hard, obtain success, and live the American Dream, the need to master the most common language which is used here is tantamount.

In the late 1890’s, Katherine Lee Bates took a trip up a big ass hill in Colorado. I went up that same hill a few years ago, saw the view and thought in the most poetic of manners: “Holy cow, that’s kewl!”

Katherine Lee Bates (not the one from Fried Green Tomatoes) was so inspired by that hill that she wrote a poem about it. The poem was called Pikes Peak.

For those of you who may not be familiar with that poem, it was written in English. The poem also serves as the genesis of the song “America the Beautiful”.

So why did the savants at Coca Cola and their ad agencies decide to convey this message? Why couldn’t they just show more polar bears bumpin’ uglies in the snow? Why couldn’t they return to the classic Italian hillside and sing about what they would like to buy for the world? Abba songs translate well to other languages. Why not sing Take A Chance?

The answer becomes pretty obvious. They were making a statement that the image of copulating polar bears, sentimental hippy songs, and Swedish pop hits couldn’t make. They used that song to attack the traditional institution behind the good old US of A that English is the avenue in which to achieve the American Dream.

What did they achieve by doing so? First of all, they lit up social media for a few days. The bloggers like me in our verbal lions’ dens were fed some meat for our rant sandwiches. They gave pundits on TV and AM radio something to discuss. Whether it helped them move product is unknown to me.

Consider this, though. The Coca Cola red square with the white wave on it is known worldwide. Ask the polar bears. Would the same commercial had been considered for airing in a different country, using one of their own patriotic tunes? I’d love to see the Persian version of that commercial with all of the different cultures of people (including the Jews) singing Iran the Beautiful in a variety of languages.

At what point did it become hip, trendy, and kosher for the engines of capitalism to use the Super Bowl to make political statements? This really isn’t a new phenomenon for that matter. We’ve seen various companies pulling these stunts during previous Super Bowls. Do we absolutely have to subject ourselves to political statements during a time of year when we’re hoping to see witty or heart warming messages involving Labradors, Clydesdales, young children, talking chocolate, and tasty tortilla chips? Big picture, it’s getting old and coming across as an effort where the sole purpose of the ad is to tweak others.

If that’s really the case, what’s the use?