There’s something to be said for taking to a vast collection of networked servers on the first day of the calendar year in order to mark the passing of time.
Ironically enough, Mr. Tyson takes to Twitter every year to broadcast this admonishment to those who cull their edumacation from social networking.
Ladies and gentlemen, for all tents and porpoises I’m going to stray from the intended topic of today’s post where I was going to connect a series of dots culminated from the last several New Year’s Eve celebrations in my neighborhood where the illegal discharge of fireworks has rendered the TharpSter TreadMill a 35 lb., 9 3/4 toed, Thundershirt wrapped bag of drooling stupor whose heroic attempts to negotiate the sedating effects of a certain canine blend of pharmacology has brought on a certain level of inebriation which would rival that of any of the patrons at the bar up the street.
In the 12 years that she’s been with us, I’ve never seen her fall off the bed before.
None the less, I’m not really going to gripe about that at this point because my choice to link to the tweet above inspired a different approach to today’s foray into verbal brilliance.
First of all, it should be noted that I no longer acknowledge January 1st as anything more than the first day listed on the new “Dog Shaming” calendar which I’ve ordered for the bathroom wall. It’s supposed to arrive day after tomorrow, and will replace the “Dogs diving in swimming pools for tennis balls” calendar which currently looks upon individuals who have taken a seat in the vicinity.
It should also be stated that I called out NDT for the dooshiness of his assertions in a previous post (the one linked above). Given that he failed to read the underlying message that such dipshittery was really quite unnecessary, I’ve opted to restate my message in a more direct manner.
At the same time, this will be the last time I call attention to this particular behavior for a few reasons.
The primary reason is because I’m not going to participate in feeding the troll by making it an annual event to call out his annual beating of the dead horse.
Furthermore, I don’t do a whole lot on Twitter, and I honestly wonder why on God’s Green Earth I even maintain a presence there. Granted I’ll probably link this post in a response to the NDT post in question just to stir the pot a little, knowing full well that it will be unnoticed, ignored, muted, or blocked by the intended recipient.
Okay, now that the levels have been set, let’s proceed with the post about my nervous dog that’s been hijacked by a stupid tweet.
Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er.
“January 1. An annually recurring day that carries no scientific significance whatsoever.”
Now of course, my first response to such a brilliant statement from one among the best and brightest that humankind has to offer up to the visiting aliens is pretty simple.
“No shit.”
The Gregorian calendar we use today which features humorous pictures of anthropomorphized chimpanzees recreating brilliant acts of stupidity initially committed by humans finds its roots in Roman customs. Occupants of the Northern Hemisphere (that’s the top half of the globe for you flat-Earthers) are coming out of some of the shortest days of the year in December, and are returning to longer hours of daylight.
With that in mind, I would suggest that Neil needs to stop applying scientific significance (or lack thereof) to New Year’s Day since it’s based on an old custom.
Whoah, hang on a second.
The savants of a really long time ago made an observation about the length of days in the Northern Hemisphere here on Earth.
They then asked themselves why it happens like that.
Now I really don’t know if they ever really figured it out or even came close to gleaning such an answer, but I do know this. They created a system to marking the beginning and ending of a year based on those observations.
No scientific significance.
Bullshit.
They made an observation and they asked a question.
They formed some sort of hypothesis that they were able to test, and came up with a result where thousands of years later, a blogger on the internet would write about their efforts whilst he patiently waited for his new calendar with a January 1 start date to arrive in the mail.
Ladies and gentlemen, I would suggest to you that the steps taken to mark the beginning of the year all of those thousands of years ago were endemic of the scientific method.
But if that’s too far-fetched for you, consider this.
At this time of year, Earth reaches its orbit perihelion in which it’s closer to the sun now than it is at any other time during the year. That’s scientifically significant, isn’t it?
Now why in tarnation would renown astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson choose to ignore that little tidbit which comes from his own field of study?
In the grand scheme of things, I’m sure he could offer up some brilliant responses to the suggestions I’ve offered. I can think of a couple of those responses right now. I also expect I’m not the first to suggest them.
Whereas I would initially suggest that NDT is either stupid or lying when it comes to sending out his annual tweet about January 1st, I’m left with an alternative conclusion which is probably more accurate when it comes to explaining why I find such behavior to be as dooshy as it is.
Neil deGrasse Tyson is using a cesspool of a social networking website to say provocative things in which to remain relevant.
For what it’s worth, Faith the TharpSter TreadMill is doing fine now. She wants to go for a walk so that I can add steps to my Fitbit.
