Okay it’s been awhile, so I need to throw a “previously on Matlock” at you. This comes as my Roomba is trying to negotiate the threshold into the Bloggery in which I blog.
Just over two years ago I posted an asshole-laden diatribe which ascribed a certain body part to each of the candidates for the Presidency during 2020 campaign. Each candidate was designated with the same body part, and the only distinction between the two was that one was brash and the other was either stupid, lying, or both.
In the end, I admonished ‘Merica to “….chose your asshole wisely“.
I’m not going to relitigate that election or outline everything that’s gone wrong since then. My assessment was correct.
You should know that by now, and if you don’t, then maybe the ensuing verbal brilliance will be lost on you.
Stand by while I go move my laundry around and walk the dogs.
This last week, Donald Trump introduced non-fungible tokens which were designed to make the most ardent of his supporters groan in orgasmic delight, while making the rest of them just plain groan.
Now certainly I know what a non-fungible token (aka NFT, because I don’t want to keep typing that term over and over again, as it’s really quite maddening) is, but why does it have to be said out loud that it’s not subject to fungus?
The problem is that the NFT (see what I did there?) isn’t the only thing that’s made me groan.
The brash asshole announced Executive Orders he plans to sign upon his return to office.
One of Donald Trump’s best qualities is his penchant for taking the free money off the table. One would think that announcing potential Executive Orders (aka ‘EO’, for the same reason I outlined above) against censorship is another example of this ability, but I would disagree.
The censorship he’s targeting with the new EO is at least two years old, with a margin of error of [insert your own number here]. It’s not like the pundits and observant ones among us haven’t been calling for such action by demanding that Big Tech be ‘held accountable’.
On top of that, the election is two years away if you’re working with a flexible and arbitrary margin of error. That’s a lifetime away, and the subject and drag queen story hour will be out of our collective minds by then. Certainly I could schedule some social media posts for January 20, 2025 about cloth masks being as effective as men who menstruate with no fear of having my status as a monetized data unit being cancelled, but who really cares? Why should I wait here for two years to get my freedom of speech back?
If Trump really wants to take all of the free money off the table, the EO has to happen now.
That’s right.
Donald Trump should call on Joseph Biden, First in His Name, Conjurer of Equitable Honkey Magic, Corn Pop Was A Bad Dude, Puppet of the Radical Left, Beneficiary of the Rigged Election, Sniffer of Coifs, and All Around Stupid Lying Asshole to set aside his prescription ice cream for a moment and execute an EO or two that shut down censorship.
Trump could take the high ground by announcing that free speech is important enough that he’ll pass on credit for the move to Biden if America wins in the long run.
Relish that thought for a minute while I redirect this post back to the intended subject.
There are two observations I’ve made since Trump announced his re-election bid, but I’ve only heard of one from the pundits.
First of all, Trump appears to be phoning it in. It’s like Rocky III all over again where he’s working out in the ballroom and pissing Mickey (his supporters) off. And you know where that got us.
The second one is one I’m going to chalk up as a prediction. If the 2020 and the 2022 campaigns have shown us anything, it’s that elections are no longer fair and secure. This was amplified when Trump won in 2016. There is still a cabal out there which endeavors to maintain power and will do anything it can to keep Trump out of office.
I have no reason to believe that 2024 will be any different.
Furthermore, consider where a Trump presidency led us.
We’re moving step by step toward a totalitarian, fascist state where those who oppose the approved narrative are shunned, shamed, and separated from society.
Just to be clear, it was those who feel that Trump is the totalitarian fascist who would shun, shame, and separate the opposition from society that are in reality, shunning, shaming, and separating the opposition from society in a very totalitarian, fascist way.
Their justification for taking such action was to protect us from what they said Trump would do.
Even if Trump could engineer the same landslide Reagan did 40 years prior, his detractors are going to do the same exact thing, but even worserer to either get him out of office, or keep him from taking office again.
They will persecute him.
They will sue him.
They will impeach him a few more times.
They will make up lies about him.
So why should we explore that route again?
We shouldn’t.
For the love of all that is red, white, and blue, please don’t make me choose between the same brash asshole or the same stupid lying asshole in 2024. For that matter, don’t make the same brash asshole my only choice either.
Ladies and gentlemen, I want a new asshole.
Please inquire within.
