All things being equal, I’ve had a pretty unique week during this third week of the new year (51 DT).

And now, it’s Saturday morning and I’m sitting in the blue walled Bloggery with an Everything bagel which has been lovingly slathered with cream cheese.  It lays in delicious repose just to my left.  Just to the left of that, a certain 9 3/4 toed LabJack Terrorist is trying to convince me that she called dibs on my breakfast first and is therefore deserving of a share of the sustenance that will leave seeds and other particulate in the gaps of my grill, and hers too.

Last night, at about 2 am, we had a thunderstorm move into the area which served to disrupt my sleep.  It wasn’t the rain and thunder that disturbed my perfectly executed snoring as much as it was the dog’s decision to perform her own version of the AC/DC classic “Thunderstruck” in response to what she considers to be an unapproved weather event.

For what it’s worth, I’m not really here this morning to discuss the TharpSter TreadMill and her accompanying neurosis.  I’ve spent plenty of time over the last decade here on TharpSter.Org discussing that particular subject, and I’m not going to let Faith, First in Her Name, Destroyer of Window Units and Bedding Plants, Queen of the Kitchen Counter, Master of Laps Around the Couch, and Stalker of Squirrels, hijack my Saturday morning discussing her.

That’s not to say I’m not going to talk about a pain in the ass or two.

As I said before, the week was an interesting one. It kicked off with two instances of “painus”.  One physical, and one metaphorical.

Earlier this week when I thought I had coined that term, I looked it up and found instances of its use on the internet pre-dates my attempts to introduce it into the zeitgeist. 

None the less, the mere fact I experienced some physical discomfort on the same day that I had to deal with an airbag recall is a little bit too ripe in the department of co-inky-dinks.  In the end (pun intended), a trip to the dealership for replacement parts and then to that special grocery store aisle for a fiber supplement and some medicated sandpaper with a high grit rating solved the irregular challenges at the beginning of the week.

Even still, ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to discuss something else this morning.

There comes a time in all of our lives when the opportunity presents itself for us to get paid to share our opinions in a focus group.

Last night, I did exactly that. 

Now normally I wouldn’t burn calories during my new found Saturday morning pastime of sharing Everything Bagels with the dog while blogging America great from my own little blue walled, Macedonian content farm on content as innocuous or mundane as a focus group.  Yet still, the mere fact that I and six of nine other men of varying backgrounds, yet similar political ideologies inadvertently pulled one over on the party who financed the discussion is a little too luscious not to commit to another verbally brilliant dispatch to an otherwise dull internet.

To be fully transparent, I’m not going to mention who the client was or the subject we discussed.  I signed some sort of non-binding agreement not to discuss that stuff via electronic means in order to walk out of there with some cash last night.  As such, any future references to the subject matter of last night’s discussion has been changed to protect the integrity of the focus group and future opportunities for yours truly to participate in other discussions.

Several years back, a certain mayor of a certain city here in the great State of Texas campaigned heavily in favor of a ballot measure which would direct a fractional percent of sales tax in the area to providing ThunderShirts to dogs and cats which suffer from anxiety brought on by thunderstorms.  The measure passed by a narrow margin, the mayor got a signature issue on their resume and moved into a cabinet level position with the federal government shortly thereafter. 

The project itself is unique to a certain city here in the great State of Texas.  It doesn’t exist anywhere else.  It’s wholly funded by a small percentage of our sales tax.  The percentage is so small that the only way to measure it is to put it up against the Native American heritage of Elizabeth Warren.

All these years later, dogs and cats all over the area which meet the necessary criteria are outfitted with these garments. 

Aside from a mess of studies that have been conducted elsewhere on the use of ThunderShirts, we don’t really know how successful this program is.  Furthermore, it’s difficult to measure it’s efficacy. 

When it was on the ballot all those years ago, I voted against the measure for a multitude of reasons.  I don’t believe it always takes a village and the inherent taxpayer money to take care of individual issues that can be addressed outside of the collective.  On a side note, I never discussed that particular measure here on TharpSter.Org when it came up for a vote.

You’re welcome.

The measure sunsets in another year or so.  If the program is to continue, it’s going to be subjected to another vote.

Thus, the focus group.

The proponents of the program are looking for a way to campaign for renewal so they can keep providing this particular service to the area.  Over the years, I’ve made myself available for surveys conducted by the market research firm which was hired to conduct the focus groups.  As such, the stars lined up and I fell into the demographic of people whose opinions they wanted.

So last night, I sat at a table in a room loaded up with two-way mirrors, hidden cameras, and hot microphones so that I could discuss whether my tax dollars should be used to solve an issue that should be addressed individually.

I shared my opinions.  I threw a couple of hanging curve balls.  I may have changed a mind or two.  I walked out of there with some cash.

In the end (there’s that pun again), I experienced an unintended benefit as well.

You see, ladies and gentlemen, I voted against the measure all of those years ago.  When it passed, that allowed for the city to take some of my hard-earned money paid in sales tax for the last 7-8 years, and give it to those behind the ThunderShirt program.

All these years later, the ThunderShirt program gave me cash for opinions that I would and have generally shared for free. 

The ThunderShirt program took money from me to pay for a program I didn’t support.

The ThunderShirt program wants to continue to take money from me for a program I don’t support.

The amount of money I’ve paid over the years in sales tax that actually made its way to the ThunderShirt program was probably eclipsed by the amount of money I received last night for my opinion on the matter, by the ThunderShirt program.

That’s right people. 

The ballot measure passed and I got my money back.