Pastafarians Find New Hope

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TOPEKA, KS – A local restaurant owner made the announcement today that the Flying Spaghetti Monster has manifested an image of itself in a pancake.  Within hours of the announcement, followers and members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster who are otherwise known as “Pastafarians” flocked to the Kansas town from all corners of the world to see what they considered to be a divine revelation.

The pancake itself was produced on the kitchen grill earlier this morning during the breakfast rush hour.  It initially went unnoticed by the grill cook who prepared it, and the waitress who served it.  The image which had been cooked into the surface of the pancake was recognized by the customer who had ordered the pancake.  Had it not been for the patron’s belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the pancake would have been consumed with no one involved for the wiser.

Ownership of the pancake now creates a dilemma for the legal system in Topeka.  The patron who identified the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the pancake wants to preserve the image with the intent of sharing it with other Pastafarians.  The restaurant owner maintains that he actually owns the pancake, as it has not been paid for yet by the patron who ordered it.  It’s the owner’s intention to preserve the pancake and sell it on eBay.  For now, local authorities have seized the breakfast food and have put it under lock, key, and vacuum seal until a ruling on the ownership can be made in a court of law.

Although the appearance is the first of its kind, Topeka, Kansas is no stranger to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.    The noodly deity was first introduced to the Kansas Board of Education in 2005 via an open letter.  The letter itself announced a following of 10 million people worldwide, and made the demand that the Flying Spaghetti Monster should be included in the school boards curriculum on the study of how Earth and the universe came into existence.  Four years later, Pastafarianism has not found its way into the curriculum in Kansas state schools.

The event itself appears to have renewed the faith of those in the Pastafarian movement.  Given the snails pace recovery of the global economy, the continued concerns about humanity’s effect on the environment, and the threats of war (both current and future), many resort to their faith in order to find some shred of evidence that such a bleak outlook will be resolved.  For Pastafarians, the appearance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster serves as a sign that maybe conditions are going to get better.  A similar outlook is typically taken by Christians when images of Jesus or the Virgin Mary appear in uncommon places.

Even then, such appearances are not limited to belief systems.  Images of celebrities and other popular icons appearing in things such water stains, tree bark, and various foods are common events.  Images of Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson are probably the most common occurrences of departed celebrities gaining face time in the public eye.  One icon which appears to be gaining notice is the Crasher Squirrel.  Even though this character is not known to be dead, it’s made a many appearances in the last six months in situations and events where it would not have been expected.  Most recently, the critter has appeared in a piece of toast in south Texas.  The event with the toast marks the first reporting where just the image and not the squirrel itself appeared.

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