Probably not, but it crossed my mind that such a question might be a good way to start this particular post.

It all started a few months ago when I posted a picture to Facebook of a very sarcastic representation of the square root function.  I’d like to think that those of your who are mathematically inclined will appreciate the little joke if you happen to possess a sense of humor.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the graphing of certain mathematical functions, I’ll spare you the pain and anguish.  Such knowledge is not a prerequisite for you to continue reading.

You’re welcome.

When I posted the picture, a family member likened the joke to behavior characteristic on the show The Big Bang Theory.

I had never seen the show.  In all honesty, I think the only thing I ever watch on CBS with any regularity is the AFC during football season.  Beyond that, the network continues to remind me that intermittent attention deficit disorders aren’t always that bad.  Even after delivering a wardrobe malfunction courtesy of a couple of pop stars a few years back, I just can’t watch anything on there.

For what it’s worth shows over there on NBC and ABC don’t really keep my attention either.

As a result of the Facebook comments thrown at what I consider to be a brilliant joke, Wifey started watching the show.  She’s now got the DVR set to record any rerun on any day and at any time, as well as the new episodes which run on that network which I routinely ignore.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can’t stress to you enough how much I resisted being sucked in.  About six weeks passed of the DVR being loaded up with reruns of that show.  Wifey has been good about deleting the episodes after watching them too.

One Saturday morning a few weeks ago, I got up and planted my rump on the Ethan Allen (the one facing north), fired up the DVR and started watching the recorded episodes.  Just like that.

Well crud.  Now there’s another show I have to try to keep up with.

So I told you about my foray into involuntary servitude to those bastards at CBS in order to discuss not The Big Bang Theory, but the big bang theory.

I’ll start by posting the lyrics from the first verse of the theme song for the show in question, as performed by Barenaked Ladies:

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait…
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!

Overall, one could say it’s a catchy tune and endemic to the sound I typically assign to Barenaked Ladies.  Good for them.  On a side note, I found a few of the lines from that first verse to be pretty darn close to the Wikipedia entry for the big bang theory.

Coincidence?

Science can be wonderful thing, especially when it’s proven to be correct.  The problem is that mankind’s ability to use science to answer why we’re here and how we got this way is like expecting a roomful of monkeys and typewriters to produce the entire works of Shakespeare.  Certainly we know the typewriters could be used to do the job, but the end user lacks the mental capacity to hit the space bar twice after every period, let alone try to express to be or not to be.

Notice I said “twice” there when discussing spacing after periods.  Kids these days are being taught to space only once after periods when they learn to type.  It’s quite barbaric, and the editing here at TharpSter.Org will never subscribe to such crackpot practices.

Even still, we’re told by the scientific community that theories like the big bang have been by in large accepted as actual and factual.

Let’s talk about Sir Isaac Newton.  Next to something wonderful he did with figs, I tend to look at his third law of motion to help explain things:

Lex III: Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi.
”
“
To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions.

Life is one big conditional statement based on the premise of “If” and “Then”.  If [this] happens, then [that] happens.

Easy as that.

Now I could go into a big ole diatribe explaining in great detail the whole concept of Newton’s Third Law of Motion, but I won’t.  If you don’t understand the concept, consider the fact that you arrived at this blog was no co-inky-dink.  You either searched out a term on an internet search engine, followed a link from somewhere else, or even typed my URL into your browser.

Congratulations for helping to prove that Newton was right.

Back to the big bang theory.

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait…
The Earth began to cool,……..

Applying Newton here, I have a few questions:

1. How did the universe get there?
2. What made it hot?
3. What made it dense?
4. Why did it start to expand?  (You’re first response is “Probably because it was hot”.  Refer to question #2)
5. What caused the cooling?

The problem here is that the big bang theory fails to provide answers to those questions.  Going even further, the theme song for the show of the same name fails to give props to the wiki entry which calls attention to the fact that the theory doesn’t get us to the beginning.

There is little evidence regarding the absolute earliest instant of the expansion. Thus, the Big Bang theory cannot and does not provide any explanation for such an initial condition; rather, it describes and explains the general evolution of the universe going forward from that point on.

Newton’s law applies to more than just motion.  The mere fact that I’m here discussing it serves as proof.    If cause and effect reign supreme, then science is in the middle of a big ole fail when it comes to explaining how we got here.

There’s a red squiggly line under that word, but I don’t care. Here at TharpSter.Org, one of the tools I wield on a regular basis is the luxury of making up words in which you as my dear reader do not have to inquire as to what they mean.

Cancer.

As you undoubtedly may know, September 30th brings an end to Prostate Cancer Awareness month. Breast Cancer Awareness month kicks off in a matter of hours as of the time of this writing. We’re knee deep in the hoopla now, aren’t we?

For several weeks now, I’ve had this blog idea kicking around in el cabeza del TharpSter in which I would try to call attention to the fact that breast cancer affects men too. Certainly the numbers of men it affects per year are considerably lower than what it does to women; however that shouldn’t diminish the fact that regardless of gender, cancer sucks.

One of the devices I was going to use in that particular blog involved listing off a whole load of words which have been attributed to the breast, only from a male perspective.  Moobs, mits, and mockers initially come to mind.

The problem is that I haven’t been able to think of a way to write that particular blog in a manner which is completely devoid of misogynistic undertones.  Even if I’m able to do so, who’s to say I won’t alienate the beautiful souls who have fought the good fight in the past and continue to do so today?  There’s no place for schadenfreude here, so the “Save the Moobies” blog will go no further than a passing reference here.

But I digress.

Tonight, I saw the movie 50/50.  It’s basically a story about a young man in his 20’s who has to come to grips with the fact that he has a 50% chance of survival from a cancer which is eating at his back.  Throughout the film, he feels alienated with his disease by his family and friends.  It’s only at the eleventh hour that he finds out his feelings of isolation are misplaced.

As I sat there watching the film, I couldn’t help but to ponder my own mortality.  I’m now middle aged.  My parents are each in their late 60’s and have each beat cancer.  I can’t say the same for my uncle, my maternal grandmother, or my great aunt.

Grandpa on Mom’s side had Alzheimer’s.  I know that’s not cancer, however it’s just as bad if not worse in my book.  People have beat cancer.  Alzheimer’s is undefeated.

Statistically speaking, the vehicle which will eventually do me in is pretty much laid out for me if the good Lord doesn’t see fit to take me in some other way such as a car accident or a heart attack.

Regardless of the method in which I eventually go, the only thing that provides any comfort to me is the fact that I’m a cog in the machine which is God’s Big Plan.  That particular plan is in full force and effect.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Nothing else.

In the last week, it has become very obvious to me that a direct reference to my Christianity is on order.  Specifically, there’s one event which has triggered such a decision.

Hope is gone.

For those of you who haven’t been following the saga of the newest member of TharpSter.Org, Hope is a one year old Pit Bull Terrier who captured our attention at the office back in January.  It took several days for any of us who tried to help her in those days to gain her trust and keep her from running away.  She had been alone for several days in the wooded area around work.  In addition, she had a wound on her front left leg that caused her to limp.  As to what had caused that cut and a few other injuries in those days is completely unknown.  Once she finally did come to us, I had to lift her up into the cab of my truck.  When we got home with her, there was also some major coaxing to get her to come into the house.

Fortunately, her hesitance didn’t last very long.  By the time we went to bed that night, she wanted to climb in with us.  Within a matter of days, she had without a shadow of a doubt created her own little niche in TharpSter.Org.  If I were sitting on the loveseat, she would come up from behind and put her paws up on my back so as to sample the possibility of eating my ear.

She offered companionship to Faith, our three year old Lab mix.  This was good, as Faith had recently displayed signs of separation anxiety.  Some of the measures we had taken to resolve that issue had been unsuccessful.

As the weeks went on, Hope continued to endear herself to us.  We took the steps to adopt her after verifying that no one was looking for her.  He had her fixed, vaccinated, and even had a microchip implanted.  We additionally took steps to provide her obedience training out of concern for the reported nature of her breed.

If having her around was not a joy enough, I was also able to derive a benefit from Hope’s presence in the form of subject matter.  After having her a few weeks, I began a series of blogs called “The Pit Bull Diaries” which was prefaced by its own page here on the site.  I had every intention of writing as many stories about both of our dogs as I could.  Sadly, I find myself at a point where I have to discontinue additional entries into The Pit Bull Diaries for now.  The reason for that is because Hope ran away last week, and we’ve yet to find her.

We’ve taken every step we could to recover her.  We continue to hold out hope that Hope will return.  Yet still, she appears to be gone.

Her picture graces the wallpaper on my PC at work.

So how does a missing Pit Bull trigger the need to discuss my faith?

I tend to see the whole occasion of Hope’s short time with us as a cog in God’s Big Plan.  I’m also of the belief that God’s Big Plan is in full force and affect.  Do I expect you to believe as I do?  Can I prove the nature of God’s Big Plan with quantifiable evidence?  Can I validate such a belief with science?

Nope.

Technically, the science that’s available to mankind is infinitesimally insignificant when it comes to understanding the nature of God.  For some of the talking heads out there to discount the existence of God or the notion of Intelligent Design based on the missing science, it’s usually a key indicator to me that said heads have been the recipient of rigorous self trepanation.

In the 54 days that Hope was with us, we learned a great deal about ourselves.  We also resolved some issues in which I won’t go into great detail in describing.  Naturally the things we learned and the issues we resolved aren’t uncommon, and they certainly aren’t unique to TharpSter.Org.  They were universal occurrences that anyone encounters at one point or another in their lifetime.  Yet still, I don’t see how any of these events would have come to light without the presence of Hope.

I would be remiss if I didn’t at least call attention to the names we’ve chosen for the dogs.  They’re actually inspired by a passage in 1 Corinthians, which reads as follows:  ¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. – 1Corinthians 13:13(NIV)

If we had gotten a third dog, would you care to guess what name would have been suggested?  The King James Version of that passage reads as “charity” instead of “love”.

The real poignancy about that passage for me happens 8 verses earlier:

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

On a chilly day in January, Hope came to us in need of some help.  Whether we knew it or not, we needed some help too.  I don’t consider the timing of those two events to be coincidental.  Perhaps when He decided that our respective issues had been sufficiently resolved, God chose to move Hope into a different situation.  For all we know, Hope is now taking care of someone else with issues similar to our own.  Regardless of wherever she is, or whether she will ever make her way back to us, my only prayer for Hope is for God to take care of her.

Thy will be done.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  Nothing else.